"Orphans In The Storm, Male Survivors of
Sexual & Ritual Abuse"
The cost to a kid who gets molested
is higher than most people know. It's too easy to minimize the damage
by saying, "It's just one of those things", or "Get over it". Sexual
violation is a violent thing even when it's not violent. It takes so much
inside. After many years, I've taken notice of the losses-- (much of what
has been healed and restored)--and I want to tell you about it so you'll
-It cost me my childhood. Repeated molestation blocked my memories,
and what I did remember was covered with a haze of physical illness, stalking
fear, repeat nightmares, and deep loneliness.
-It cost me my ability
I resented authority and feared adults
so much I wouldn't go anyplace like a public restroom or swimming pool
locker room because I'd get sick from the fear of what might happen.
-It cost me my ability to
be spontaneous. I kept such rigid control over my emotions,
my body and my mind, that I couldn't laugh, I couldn't play, and being
around kids who could made me feel sullen, angry, depressed, alone, left
-It cost me my sanity. Shortly after the initial abuses. I was
a complete emotional dead-zone, and one night, as I sat alone in a chair,
my mind filled with filth and blasphemy, and tears streamed down my face,
because I loved God and I couldn't stop this mental rape, and I just snapped
after several days of this and I started cursing, and smoking, and drinking,
and I told God to give up on me because I was evil. I was 11.
-It cost me my education
potential. I was a brilliant child. Being molested
cost me my ability to think without confusion, trance-outs and frustration.
I couldn't concentrate. I could have been a straight A
Valedictorian. Instead, by the time I finished High School, I was
taking 4 basic classes and barely passed.
-It cost me my identity. Being molested created such sexual and
emotional confusion that I was an old man before I was 15 and still a boy
at 30. I felt numb and removed, like I was not there, just a piece
of property for others to use and discard.
-It cost me my adolescence. Being molested made
me afraid of adults, men, women, crowds, public places, challenges, fights
and almost everything else including being scared to death I was gay and
scared of all my emotions including anger and joy. I couldn't date,
I didn't go to the prom, and alcohol was my only 'friend'. Being
a kid is screwed up & scary enough, but I carried enough guilt and
fear to take down ten normal adults.
-It cost me time. Being molested started
me running, and I ran and kept going until I crashed in my late 20's--and
then it cost me time in recovering, facing hard truth and healing.
-It cost me family. Being molested crippled
my heart enough to destroy any potential marriage or children.
God has restored most of what
was taken, and more. But you needed to know--being molested is not a "get
over it" thing. It's an evil robber whose damage goes deep and keeps
taking until we can face it and start to heal.
Greg Reid is a private investigator, youth worker,
and director of :
Jacob's Trust in El Paso, TX Box 370006 El Paso, TX 79937
While this was written for
his work with males it certainly relates to little girls as well.
Those who wish to remove the Age of Consent laws are only interested in
their own gratification. Not the childs. (opinion of MizBee)